


Happy Birthday, love

by CrymzynWings87



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Birthday, Crying, Drabble, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 07:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16300976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrymzynWings87/pseuds/CrymzynWings87
Summary: Happy birthday, Commander...WARNING! THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS! IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED EPISODE 55 OR READ UP TO CHAPTER 75, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!





	Happy Birthday, love

**Author's Note:**

> LET ME REITERATE:
> 
> IF YOU HAVEN'T READ PAST CHAPTER 75 OF THE MANGA OR WATCHED EPISODE 55 OF THE ANIME, PROCEED WITH CAUTION! THIS CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS!

It was a crisp, clear fall morning. Your breath cascaded from your lips in little wisps. The cool breeze nipped at your nose and cheeks, leaving them a light rosy pink. You stood between your new commander and your fellow squad leader, the three of you being the only ones that came today. But you three were the only ones that ever really mattered to him, honestly. 

You looked out over the field of monuments and memorials, dew making them glisten in the early morning sun. It had only been a few weeks since you were last here. There weren't any bodies in the ground underneath, any and every body that came back from the failed expeditions were burned. Reaching up, you clasped the cold locket in your hands. It was all you had left of him. Since he was the commander, he was cremated separately. Levi managed to retrieve some of his ashes and they put them in a beautiful silver locket for you.

Erwin, your commander and lover, meant everything to you. And you missed him, so very much. So much so that it felt as though your soul had been ripped in two. You missed seeing his smiles, you missed his strong arms holding you. You missed hearing his laughter and his voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear at night. You missed his beautiful sky blue eyes and the way they lit up whenever he saw you. You missed all the nights the two of you spent together, all the talks and planning for the future. A future that would never come. But most of all, you missed hearing him say he loved you.

Taking a deep breath, you tucked the end of your long trenchcoat under your legs and sat on the wet grass. You laid the bouquet of lilies on top of the white marble headstone. Your breathing became shaky as the tears threatened to stream freely down your face. Hanji sat down next to you and took your hand, squeezing it gently. As you squeezed back, Levi crouched down and placed his hand on your shoulder. You reached up and grasped it with your free hand, as if you were holding on for dear life. 

The three of you had become almost inseparable since that fateful day in Shiganshina. Even though he told you otherwise, you knew that Levi felt guilty over the decision he made. And he shouldn't. It's what Erwin would've wanted. Your lover knew that the mission to to plug the hole and retake Wall Maria would be his last, whether he came back alive or not. Since the accident where he lost his arm, he had been secretly planning to retire. But the coup involving the government and Historia delayed his plans. Even though he had put up a strong facade, Erwin just simply didn't have it in him anymore. At least now, he would go down in history as the commander who reclaimed Wall Maria and who had brought us our new Queen. He would always be remembered as a successful leader.

"I wish I could join you," you sobbed quietly as you closed your eyes and let the tears stream down your face. You let go of Hanji's hand and reached out the headstone. 

"No," Levi said sternly, squeezing your shoulder tightly. "It isn't your time. You're meant to be here, with us."

"I don't want to live without him though," you mumbled miserably. What was left of your heart was breaking. You just wanted to see Erwin again. You just wanted him to hold you, to tell you that everything was okay. Hanji wrapped her arms around your waist and hugged you. 

"You've made it this far," Hanji whispered thickly, tears swimming in her chocolate eyes. "You have to be strong. For him. He'd want you to go forward, with your head held high. Carry out his wishes and make his dreams a reality."

"Your squad needs you, the corps needs you, Hanji needs you," Levi paused, drawing in a shaky breath. "I need you."

You weeped silently, the tears refusing to stop. You knew they were right. Erwin wouldn't want you to suffer because of him. You needed to be strong. Not only for everyone else, but for yourself. You took a steadying breath and wiped the tears from your face. Hanji stood up and they both helped you to your feet. She wrapped her arm around yours and Levi took your hand, twining your fingers together. You knew you'd make it. You knew this wasn't going to end you. Especially with Levi and Hanji by your side. They needed you as much as you needed them. You leaned over and gently kissed the marble headstone. 

"Happy birthday, love."

**Author's Note:**

> How depressing... I'm sorry :(
> 
> Anyway, happy birthday, Commander Eyebrows~!
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know if there are any mistakes~
> 
> Until next time~


End file.
